Theatre of the Absurd

In today's Dinette Set, Burl and Joy go to the movies where the reader is left to wonder:

• If the artist could actually be bothered to see something as high-brow as The Illusionist
  
• Whether there actually are places where employees give enough of a damn about their minimum-wage job that they protect the mega-theatre corporation's profits by hassling patrons about bringing food.
• If the editor realized that the phrase "check your bag" has another common meaning and might confuse the reader, if only briefly.
  

Terminal Illness

In today's Dinette Set, Burl returns to the doctor, causing the reader to:

• Wonder where Joy is.
• Re-visit the question of what the band-aid on the doctor's head is supposed to signify.
• Instill hope that perhaps the doctor is a quack and has misdiagnosed Burl's terminal illness as chronic hypochondria.
• Include an eye chart on the wall, despite the fact that this is a doctor's office, not an optometrist's office.
• Come far, far closer to showing Burl's naked ass than should ever be allowed in polite society.
  

Grammatical Incorrectness

In today's Dinette Set, the artist offers a grammar lesson for the purpose of:

• Boring the hell out of the reader.
• Causing the reader to raise an eyebrow at the notion that Burl remembers something from his school days.
• Compete with Crankshaft for the title of Biggest Ass in the Comic Pages.
• Create a couch out of the same screen door material usually reserved for pants.
  

The Grass Isn't Greener

In today's Dinette Set, we debate lawn mowing for:

• No reason which is considered a standard reason for publishing a comic (e.g., humor).
• To confuse the reader with an impenetrable time line.
• To prove that the artist cannot effectively illustrate the concept that "the grass hasn't even grown yet." Or at least can't recognize that it would be helpful if they could.
  
• To seat Joy on a 2-dimensional porch.

Questions, questions...

In today's Dinette Set, Joy is not yet dressed and the reader is left to wonder:

• Why is Jerry sporting a bow tie all of a sudden?
• Why is Verl's sweatshirt inside out?
• Is there a minimum dress standard for Wal-Mart but not for Dollar Dump?
• Why do Burl and Joy both have their hands in their pockets?

Snakes in a Panel

In today's Dinette Set, the group discusses movie rentals for the purpose of:

• Attempting to be hip and Internet savvy, but actually just being months late jumping on the Snakes on a Plane bandwagon.
• Holding out the false hope for the reader that if they return in 5 minutes, the panel might make sense or be funny.
• Making not one, not two, but three separate boob jokes for no goddamn reason. For God's sake, stop already!

Gossip Corner

In today's Dinette Set, the folks gather round the table to:

• Utter an elliptical bit of dialog, including some names with which we are not familiar, after which the reader has no idea what they are talking about.
• Feign righteous indignation on Burl's part.
• Make yet another boob joke in poor taste.
• Include Jerry in the scene, but do not reference him or give him dialog.
  

Dirty Laundry

In today's Dinette Set, Burl and Joy hang laundry while the reader:

• Wonders why the artist only drew about 1/3rd of the background and left the rest blank.
• Is astounded to find that laundry-hanging is some sort of spectator activity.
• Recoils in horror at the sight of one of Burl's flabby love handles.
• Struggles to determine what previous noun Ma's pronoun "them" refers to: fresh air? everything?
  

South Mountain

In today's Dinette Set, the gang head to the movies in order to:

• Disgust the reader.
• Make the reader retch.
• Place into the reader's mind an image which the white-hot heat of a thousand suns going supernova could not possibly burn away.
• Demonstrate a continuing and disturbing inability to recognize where "the line" is.
  

Aarf Aarf!

In today's Dinette Set, Burl and Joy laze in their backyard so the reader:

• Can be introduced to neighbors we never knew they had.
• Can be witnesses when the police ask if Burl did, in fact, threaten to harm the neighbor's dog.
• Can wonder about the point of the prominently-placed pinwheel.
• Can stare at the neighbor with black covering her face and ask: Is that seriously the best you can draw a pair of sunglasses?