Okay, Burl. We believe you. You don't own a BMW because they don't market it with raffles and balloons. It certainly is not because you can't afford it. Not at all.
Well, maybe just a little bit because you can't afford it.
Oh, hell, let's just call a spade a spade...the only way you are going to get within sniffing distance of a BMW is if the dealership decides to attach a really gigantic balloon to a sedan, after which it floats off the lot and then lands in your driveway. Even then, you'd have to give it back, despite possession being 9/10ths of the law.
But, what's so surprising about this? No one would expect you and your low-level U-Stor-It employee salary to be BMW material.
What has me really curious, however, is why the lame excuse? Why not just trot out the jingoism card? I mean, there's the BMW dealership all tarted up like a flower shop or a funeral parlor, just begging for scorn. The employees have all got names like Hans and Fritz. They don't even bother marketing properly, as if the product will just sell itself. How thoroughly, digustingly un-American.
Why not come right out and say it, loud and proud? "I only buy American!"
It's not like the stench of jingoism isn't hovering over every inch of the panel anyway. The mere fact that no one is speaking about it only strengthens its intensity. It's the elephant in the room, overshadowing everything else, despite the fact that no one is mentioning it.
All of which makes this panel a Jingoism Rorschach Test for the reader. Lacking any other context from which to discern the author's intent, whether the reader believes the panel is lauding Burl's unspoken nationalism or making fun of his jingoism will reveal more about the reader than anything else.
Damn foreign marginalia, taking all our jobs!
- "BMW next to Ford" ranks as either the worst dealership name ever or the most stilted bit of English ever. Take your pick.
- "No Interest" is almost certainly an unintended pun.
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