Table for One

In today's Dinette Set, Jerry's extreme reaction suggests there's something ripe for ridicule in a woman dining alone and talking to the staff:

• Possibly the mere notion of human interaction is a target of ridicule?
• Possibly the fact that Joy doesn't join in the ridicule is, in itself, ridiculous?

Either way, I think we've reached nadir of both humor and humanity.

Yuck

From now on, all panels devoted to the hirsute nature of Jerry or his kin will simply be greeted with the following response:

EWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW.

That way I will devote roughly the same amount of energy as is spent conceiving of panels on this topic.

Cyber Worm

In today's Dinette Set, it would appear Burl is confusing viruses with computer games, which counts as one of life's least common misunderstandings. Which is a shame since the Dinette Set has shown the ability to be technologically savvy on occasion.

On an unrelated note, does anyone have a theory about when the artist chooses to mock a brand name (Dull) versus use it correctly (Eddie Bauer, Cartier). My theory is that it's exclusively a function of whether the brand in question is personally favored by the artist or not. While fairly unsatisfying, this explanation at least fits into the extreme parochial zeitgeist of the panel.

2+2 = A Bushel of Corn

Shorter version of today's Dinette Set:

• Burl: 25 cents is less than 20 cents!
• Joy: I agree.

Shorter...and just as funny.

A Hurricane?

In today's Dinette Set, I'm still confused about this hurricane in Illinois thing.

A nonsense set up doesn't suddenly make sense if you just say a bunch of fictional people also believe in the nonsense.

That said, it's somehow perfectly fitting that the characters in the Dinette Set can't understand the Harry Potter phenomena. It is a book, after all.

Unnecessary Details

In today's Dinette Set, the artist challenges the reader to spot all of the details which add absolutely nothing to the panel:

• Verla's entire dialog balloon, and half of Dale's.
• The poster board labeled "Large Print Monopoly Game".
• Timmy's head peeking out from behind Joy.
• The stack of 45s on the table.
• The gargantuan family portrait occupying the entire background.
• The painting of the balloon on the wall.
• The light switch.
• A lamp with down arrows as decoration.
• Burl's T-shirt, unless we assume the artist does not understand what a "toadie" is.
  

Happy Birthday Dale

In today's Dinette Set, Burl believes Jerry has recycled a birthday card; the reader, by contrast, is puzzling over the following:

• What is the point of mocking Jerry's frugality when, from all appearances, Jerry and Verl brought two rather large presents.
• Why is the card radioactively glowing?
• OK, I get the idea of recycling a card. But wouldn't the natural assumption be that the card was given by Burl to Jerry? If that is true, why is "Dale" the only thing written on the envelope, unless Jerry got a new envelope? And if Jerry got a new envelope, why would it be taped shut?
  

The Sound of Music

In today's Dinette Set, the artist once again misunderstands that an audio joke does not work in an entirely visual medium.

A Swat on the Nose

In today's Dinette Set, the reader must question their sanity, although questioning the artist is more appropriate:

• Are we to understand that rather than going out to solicit help in finding their dog, these unknown neighbors simply waited for Burl, Joy, Marlene, and Dale to wander over and then ordered them to go search?
• Are we to understand that this dog will only wander in alleys?
• Are we to understand there are alleys in suburbia?
• Finally, what exactly are we to understand from Burl's rather sinister parting shot? He's either killed the dog or adopted it. The 101 100 Dalmatians on Ice T-shirt is, unfortunately, not encouraging.

One thing we can be sure of...the artist does not know how to spell Dalmatian.

The candy is not the only thing that is stale

In today's Dinette Set, it's once again hard to understand exactly what's the joke is supposed to be:

• The mere existence of Memorial Day candy?
• That, somehow, Memorial Day candy does not satisfy Joy's requirements for candy?
• That Burl does not understand the concept of time?
• The irony between the current staleness of Memorial Day candy and the future staleness of Hallowe'en candy?

There are, however, a few things which are certain:

• There's no humor to be mined out of the irony between the current staleness of Memorial Day candy and the future staleness of Hallowe'en candy.
• The artist has become overly enamored of the "it's gotta be {insert theme here} time somewhere" motif.
• The artist has become more realistic when it comes to her attempt to get free stuff by mentioning products in the panel.
• The shambling horde of evil dark zombies which inhabit Crustwood's supermarkets are about to go to war against a shambling horde of good white zombies.
  

Home Appliances

In today's Dinette Set, Dale and Marlene flaunt their disposable income through an Eddie Bauer signature grill.

In a case of art mirroring life, the artist continues to shill her soul for disposable income through product placement dollars. This includes a vain pipe dream that including the word Cartier in the panel will cause the renowned jeweler to send her a gift.

Laundercizer!

In today's Dinette Set, the entire panel hangs on the slender hope that the reader will find it hilarious that Verla thinks Marlene is in great shape.

But, in fact, the reader is unable to pay attention to anything but the weirdly Escheresque way the living room, kitchen, and basement door all seem to exist along the same two-dimensional plane.

Huh?

In today's Dinette Set, it's all about proving who's a greater Luddite:

• A $98 calculator? For that price it should do your homework for you.
• The kid is in 7th or 8th grade, by now I hope he already knows his multiplication tables. Or as Dale says, as if he were a grizzled prospector: "timesing and minusing."
• Burl doesn't even understand the purpose of a slide rule.

Oreo Zombies

In today's Dinette Set, Oreo product placement dominates the narrative and corrupts artistic integrity. But I'm more worried about the background shambling hordes of zombies who seem to inhabit of all of Crustwood's supermarkets.

What's So Funny Bout...

In today's Dinette Set, the artist's level of certainty about what is supposed to be funny here does not match the reader's:

• Is it that Burl is a slow reader and can't finish a novel in 3 weeks?
• Is it that Burl does not understand that you can re-check items out?
• Is it that Burl is so cheap he's unwilling to pay $0.10/day for overdue books?
• Is it that Burl can read at all?

Whatever it is, I will say that under no circumstances should The Dinette Set be making boob jokes. Leave that to the professionals, like Judge Parker.

Bananas

In today's Dinette Set, there's at least one detail confusing things:

• If the joke is that they are asking if the Blizzard contains bananas when everyone knows that M&Ms do not contain bananas, asking about Peanut M&Ms just confuses the joke.
• If the joke is that they demand an excessive amount of clarity regarding M&Ms in their Blizzard signage , then asking about bananas just confuses the joke.
• If the joke is both at once, then the wrongheaded choice just confuses the reader.

oh, and after yesterday's "sticky stuff" reference, Joy's shirt is going way, way too far.

The Moment Before the End

In today's Dinette Set...uh...

Oops, better start over.

In today's...hmmmm...

Sorry, I'm just really distracted by the fact that Burl is being considerate and reasonable.

I have no explanation other than the possibility that aliens have replaced Burl with a replicant. Or, aliens have replaced artist Julie Larson with a replicant.

Either works for me.

I Vote for Dale's Dementia

In today's Dinette Set, the artist challenges the reader to decide what is the least funny thing in the panel:

• The punchline, which seems to amount to the fact that the guys are watching Full House, and nothing else.
• Dale's senile dementia.

Paper or Plastic

In today's Dinette Set, Burl and Joy think selfishly and act selfishly yet again. And yet the only thing anyone will notice in this panel is the following:

• "It doesn't save to recycle glass or paper..." Once again, the inescapable conclusion is that no one ever reviews these panels before they get published.
• Why is a trowel hanging, like the Sword of Damocles or Chekhov's Gun, over Patty's head.
  
• Oh, and screen door shorts.
  

Random musings

In today's Dinette Set, I am so confused I can't come up with a coherent thread for my musings:

• Why is Burl, the class warrior, suddenly a part of the management class rather than the lumpenproletariat? Or is he an invader and interloper as suggested by the fact that he does not sport a corporate logo?
  
• Why, precisely, does the artist think it's so funny to suggest people have to be locked in a seminar of this nature?
• What, precisely, does Burl's skepticism have to do with anything?
• Are we really supposed to believe those are soda bottles in the back? If so, they are the worst-drawn soda bottles in the history of...well, history. Alternately, I will entertain the supposition that they are poorly-disguised bottles of drain cleaner and either Burl or U-Stor-It are attempting mass murder.
  

Dead Artist Walking

In today's Dinette Set, the Pennys stumble (must have been inadvertent) across an art booth; this brief encounter with poorly-scanned classical artwork doesn't prevent the reader from scratching their head because:

• Burl seems to simultaneously believe these are reproductions (painted by deceased people) and at the same time painted by Jabba (the non-starving person)
• Or, Burl seems to believe that if Jabba is not starving he must be deceased, despite evidence to the contrary, such as the fact that he is drinking a soda.

Either way, the inescapable conclusion is that no one ever reviews these panels before they get published.

Moons over My-Hammy

In today's Dinette Set, hoo-boy! I can barely write from the laughing. See, they're all obese over-eaters and should die soon!

In another bright note, Luther/Burl's sequestration ended quickly.

Luther's 1 Thesis

In today's Dinette Set, I fear the reader is adrift in a sea of questions:

• Luther? Who is Luther?
  
• Why does Burl/Luther want to talk to the judge? Is he trying to dodge jury duty with a Contempt of Court charge? Or is he worried about being lonely? Or does he want to discuss the case?
• Under what emergency situation would someone need an over-sized gavel?
• Cingular is now paying for product placement?
• They're making chairs out of screen door material?