Self-help Seminar of the Damned

In today's Dinette Set, the gang attend a Tony Robbins seminar; the concept of why these people are attending should be puzzling enough but the reader is more puzzled by:

• After de facto admitting that you can't accurately draw Tony Robbins, by showing him from behind, why did the artist allow her zeal for a worthless vanity gag override that realization by showing, in the mirror's reflection, the face of Psychiatrist John?
• How divorced from reality must one be to believe you can get into a Tony Robbins Seminar for $25 dollars?
  
• "If you can't motivate yourself, who will?" was apparently deemed so damned funny, it was included twice?
• How long has it been since we've seen the screen door pants? Seems like forever.
  

Duck and Cover

In today's Dinette Set, the reader is encouraged to come up with crazy-ass interpretations for why Dale will "be outside before you know it:"

• Given the Tshirt-based diagnosis of ADD, he will simply forget about yesterday's global-thermonuclear devastation and wander outside.
• He will be unable to go more than one day without a buffet.
• He will go crazy after just one day drinking Kool-Aid.
• He will get bored and choose death/mutation over one more day in the bunker with Marlene, Burl, and Joy. Truthfully, who among us wouldn't make that choice?
  

And I Don't Care

In today's Dinette Set, the emotional abuse of Timmy continues apace while the reader struggles to make sense of marginalia:

• What has the movie Seven got to do with this? Being an asshole to your neighbor's grandchild should be a deadly sin, but technically it isn't.
• The Miracle Worker? Nope, sorry, can't see the connection between Helen Keller and this panel.
• Sponsored by The Container Store? Again, I fail to see the connection.
• Perhaps the artist pasted the wrong background in? Perhaps readers are more clever than I am? Have fun in the comments.

Finally, I would like to point out that I doubt Burl would shell out for Premium cable, like Showtime.

Marketing Dollars

In today's Dinette Set, product placement dollars continue to corrupt the artist's vision, while the reader contemplates other potential commercial tie-ins:

• Are you a guest here at the Ritz? No. There are some things that money can't buy. For everything else, there's MasterCard.
• Are you a guest here at the Ritz? No, but I assume what happens in Vegas stays in Vegas.
  
• Are you a guest here at the Ritz? No. Got Milk?

A Penny For You to Stop

In today's Dinette Set, a tortured setup leads to a leap of logic on Burl's part and yet:

• Apparently convinced the reader will not understand what standing water is, the reader is treated subjected to 4 different examples of it, including a bucket for apple dunking which, apart from appearing with no explanation, motivation, or connection to the panel, is labeled "Apple Dunking".
• Apparently convinced that the reference to tossing coins in the toilet wasn't enough scatology for one panel, Joy dons a seriously misguided shirt.
• Apparently convinced the reader will not understand why all 6 characters are present, the Pennys raise a flag declaring this a "Party."
  

Steak Wars

In today's Dinette Set, product placement dollars are on display, by contrast:

• Any semblance of a joke is noticeably absent.
  
• Dignity and restraint are in short supply, when Soylent Green, outdoor plumbing, and steak are combined into one misguided piece of marginalia.
  
• The Penny's have at least one more gay porn video on top of their TV than they should have.
  

The Long Way Home

In today's Dinette Set, Joy misunderstands the concept while the somewhat barren outdoor setting gives rise to some of the lamest marginalia ever:

• His/hers pants on the wrong person; because there's a hilarious bounty of difference between shorts for men and women.
• No loitering in the park; as if it were not possible to illegally loiter in a public space.
• Fast food references; it's MacDonald's fault the Penny's are morbidly obese.
  

Backslide

In today's Dinette Set we're back at the pool, site of so many past horrors, with a few notes to the Editor who might want to spend more time, you know, editing:

• Any reference to any Dinette Set character's backside should be considered too revolting to publish.
• We have had enough of these folks in bathing suits. Seriously.
• The Anchors Aweigh sister appears to have elephantitis of the thighs (more so than can be explained by her morbid obesity).
• Do you honestly believe the ladder appears to be on the other side of the pool? Looks to me like it's in the middle of the pool.

Paper or Plastic

In today's Dinette Set, clarity is not the order of the day:

• The meaning of Burl's punchline, such as it is, is not clear. It may be as simple as implying that if he hadn't opened the door his mother in law (the bag) would not have come in. But that's a fairly unsatisfying interpretation for such a convoluted setup.
• I know Timmy is the babe-in-the-woods of The Dinette Set and as such perhaps he might not know why a person puts cucumbers on their eyes. But, realistically-speaking, his only function is to cover for the artist's inability to clearly illustrate cucumbers on Ma's eyes.
• Ma's pose is clearly meant to be a quotation of Manet's Olympia, but the purpose of that quotation is not clear.
  

The Last Section

Let me just say, about today's Dinette Set, thank God it's the last section, because we've now repeated the same basic joke, with insignificant variation for 3 straight days.

Serial Dating

In today's Dinette Set, tradition is broken by stringing panels together on the same topic for two consecutive days, leading the reader to:

• Recall fondly the last known serial panels: corn stories.
  
• Wonder if the artist is writing from experience because she is dating again or has just read an article about Internet dating.
• Continue to puzzle over what part of Internet dating is not clear.
• Give up long before puzzling out what the pairings of movies and TV channels on the to-do list is meant to signify.
  

Print Version

In today's Dinette Set, Verla appears to be giving up on Jerry, while the reader is given the following reasons to give up on The Dinette Set:

• There's a print version of match.com? What part of Internet dating works in magazine form?
  
• Any mention of a Dinette Set character and a bikini violates Federal decency statutes.
• Joy's plan to exploit her daughter's body for her sister's gain boggles the imagination and sickens the stomach.
  

Warped Reality

In today's Dinette Set, Burl and Joy attend a choral concert, which is not the most flimsy premise on which today's panel hangs its hopes:

• In recorded human history, what emcee has ever said "if there are no objections we'll do an encore"?
• I suspect the choice of shows in the medley is supposed to be part of the joke, but expecting the reader to parse out that joke is optimistic, at best.
• Even the most amateurish chorale company can come up with a better slogan than the Choral Corral, even if they were going for self-deprecating humor.
  

Itsy Bitsy

So, I read that first dialog balloon and spotted Joy's hairy legs and, well...I refuse to read any further.

I'm still trying to recover from Jerry at the pool. So, you're on your own with this one.

Schoolhouse Rock

In today's Dinette Set, Timmy seeks help from unhelpful sources while the reader seeks:

• An answer to the question: Where are Timmy's parents and why do they constantly abandon him to Dale and Burl?
• A new comic that does not dredge up memories of Algebra in search of a joke that, in the end, remains elusive.
  
• To understand why 90% of every one's face is blank space.
  

White Noise

In today's Dinette Set, the focus is on the spirit world, leaving carbon-based life forms with the following questions for the author:

• Do you actually believe the average human being knows this much about ghosts and spirits?
• If I wanted to read that much text over coffee, do you think it would come from Marlene?
  
• You do understand that an audio joke doesn't work in a visual medium, right?
  
• I barely got over Jerry's hair when you subjected me to Burl's gas? Are you trying to convince me to stop reading?
  

Meth Addiction

In today's Dinette Set, Burl and Joy defile the countryside as a means to:

• Make a joke which appears to be commenting on the relative density of housing in a rural vs. suburban setting, which has to counts as one of the oddest topics anyone has ever tried to find humor in.
• Make a joke out of the difference between ethanol and methanol, which has to count as one of the most arcane topics anyone has ever tried to find humor in.