Out of Reach

I know I am starting to become repetitive about The Dinette Set, but seriously...

These people are far to stupid to have a functioning autonomic nervous system.

I guess I need to add today's "effort" to the growing list of panels in which Burl and Joy display preternatural stupidity about relatively simple concepts involving mathematics, linguistics, time, and (now) proximity.

Thanksgiving Sickness

In today's Dinette Set an unbelievable amount of dialog is used to make the joke, to use that term loosely, that some people call into work sick when (gasp) they are not in fact sick. If we were to assume this was worth any words at all, an assumption I will not grant, surely it could be done with much fewer than this?

Shuttle Bus from Hell

Today's Dinette Set doesn't make much sense, if you ask me, and since you bothered to come here, I'll assume you are asking me, if only in some small way.

I simply cannot make anything of the fact that Carnegie Mall has shuttle busses.

I don't know if these ladies are at Carnegie Mall or another mall.

I don't know where Burl and Joy are.

Mostly, however I don't understand how anyone leaving the mall will be able to open their car door.

Feed the Artist

Today's Dinette Set could be about anything, anything at all. It doesn't matter. Because at the end of the day it's just about a gigantic plug for Dinette Set merchandise.

I feel compelled to note that Bill Watterson, the creator of the greatest comic strip ever, was never willing to sully his creation by merchandising it.

Feed the World

Today's Dinette Set, features people unclear on the concept on the textual and meta-textual level. That Burl does not understand should come as a surprise to absolutely no one. That the artist tortures the English language in a desperate attempt to make this joke fit into the setup also should come as a surprise to no one.

Not that it's not annoying as hell and totally unecessary. Assuming the artist is not paid by the word, I suggest the following:

Timmy: Did you know millions of kids in other countries go to bed hungry?
Burl: Relax. I'm going to finish everything on my plate.

At that point, all one needs to do is draw a comically over-stacked plate of food. Which, I know, is asking too much.

Blood for Oil

Today's Dinette Set is a lesson in parochial slang. Apparently in some area of the world people refer to paintings as "oils." I am reasonably certain they retain the right to vote despite this fact, which is certainly disturbing.

Emergency Services

I have to keep this short today, because I'm off to dial 911. No, not in anticipation of a bloody car-on-Rascal accident. Repeated reading of The Dinette Set, and the attendant forehead smacking, has resulted in fairly severe cranial damage.

At any rate, all I will say about this particular vignette is that you can file it under "Conversations no human being has ever had; set in an Escheresque landscape."

Not to Mention that Septuagenarian Smell

If you are feeling guilty about finding today's Dinette Set kind of funny, don't beat yourself up. One thing the Dinette Set gets right on occasion is Burl's hostility towards Ma.

Porch Light Trilogy

In today's Dinette Set, I couldn't care less about Burl's hatred of Halloween and of trick-or-treaters. I am, however, absolutely baffled by the ovals of light surrounding Dale and Timmy, not to mention Timmy's costume itself.

Spooky Chemlawn

Today's Dinette Set completes a thematic trifecta in which Burl and Joy demonstrate preternatural stupidity about things mathematical, lingual, and (now) temporal. I would love to convince myself this was deliberate, but I suspect the artist is actually simply running out of ideas in more dramatic fashion than previously suspected.

On the other hand, one revealing detail in today's panel stands head-and-shoulders above anything else.

I am delighted to find out that Burl, when removing his Halloween pumpkin, cannot stifle the urge to stomp on it. I imagine this small annual expression of sheerest rage is the thin wall which keeps the demons at bay and prevents Burl from doing the same thing to Joy.