The Grass Isn't Greener

In today's Dinette Set, we debate lawn mowing for:

• No reason which is considered a standard reason for publishing a comic (e.g., humor).
• To confuse the reader with an impenetrable time line.
• To prove that the artist cannot effectively illustrate the concept that "the grass hasn't even grown yet." Or at least can't recognize that it would be helpful if they could.
  
• To seat Joy on a 2-dimensional porch.

Questions, questions...

In today's Dinette Set, Joy is not yet dressed and the reader is left to wonder:

• Why is Jerry sporting a bow tie all of a sudden?
• Why is Verl's sweatshirt inside out?
• Is there a minimum dress standard for Wal-Mart but not for Dollar Dump?
• Why do Burl and Joy both have their hands in their pockets?

Snakes in a Panel

In today's Dinette Set, the group discusses movie rentals for the purpose of:

• Attempting to be hip and Internet savvy, but actually just being months late jumping on the Snakes on a Plane bandwagon.
• Holding out the false hope for the reader that if they return in 5 minutes, the panel might make sense or be funny.
• Making not one, not two, but three separate boob jokes for no goddamn reason. For God's sake, stop already!

Gossip Corner

In today's Dinette Set, the folks gather round the table to:

• Utter an elliptical bit of dialog, including some names with which we are not familiar, after which the reader has no idea what they are talking about.
• Feign righteous indignation on Burl's part.
• Make yet another boob joke in poor taste.
• Include Jerry in the scene, but do not reference him or give him dialog.
  

Dirty Laundry

In today's Dinette Set, Burl and Joy hang laundry while the reader:

• Wonders why the artist only drew about 1/3rd of the background and left the rest blank.
• Is astounded to find that laundry-hanging is some sort of spectator activity.
• Recoils in horror at the sight of one of Burl's flabby love handles.
• Struggles to determine what previous noun Ma's pronoun "them" refers to: fresh air? everything?
  

South Mountain

In today's Dinette Set, the gang head to the movies in order to:

• Disgust the reader.
• Make the reader retch.
• Place into the reader's mind an image which the white-hot heat of a thousand suns going supernova could not possibly burn away.
• Demonstrate a continuing and disturbing inability to recognize where "the line" is.
  

Aarf Aarf!

In today's Dinette Set, Burl and Joy laze in their backyard so the reader:

• Can be introduced to neighbors we never knew they had.
• Can be witnesses when the police ask if Burl did, in fact, threaten to harm the neighbor's dog.
• Can wonder about the point of the prominently-placed pinwheel.
• Can stare at the neighbor with black covering her face and ask: Is that seriously the best you can draw a pair of sunglasses?
  

Antiques Horrorshow

In today's Dinette Set, a estate sale provides the setting for:

• A panel in which we are supposed to accept that a dresser is an antique based on scant visual and textual evidence.
• A continuation of the class struggle between Burl and the college-educated class.
• A shadowy background which appears to include giant Rock 'em Sock 'em robots.
  

Spider-Sense

In today's Dinette Set, the men go to ACE Hardware in order to:

• Make an incredibly stupid observation regarding the standard spelling of a person's name.
• Demonstrate that Burl has a spider-sense which kicks in whenever he encounters an unusual fact regarding the naming of twin brothers.
• Reference Tom Harke and give him a customer service award for no apparent reason.
• Place a hammer in clear view, obviously referencing Chekhov's gun, and insinuating that either the men or the clerk will soon be dead when that hammer "goes off".
  

A Thief in the House

In today's Dinette Set, Burl and Joy visit Dale and Marlene's house for the purpose of:

• Illustrating that Dale, who steals money from his grandson, may be a bigger jerk than Burl. Though, in his defense, it may be that Dale is in financial distress after having taken out a sub-prime loan from the poorly-punctuated "Su Casa Mi Casa Mortage. Co."
  
• Engaging in blatant product placement for Cheetos, probably in an attempt to score free product.
• Penning one of the least comprehensible sentences in comics history, rather than simply asking "Why's Timmy rummaging about in your room, Marlene?"
• Illustrating what unconvincing forced perspective looks like.
• Setting a record for the most extreme head swivels in a single panel.