Art Faire

In today's Dinette Set, we are able, at least, to divine that our protagonists are Philistines and laugh at them for that reason.

Burl's desire to go to a MacDonald's Playplace sure is a surreal ending, however.

Boggle?

In today's Dinette Set...nope, sorry, I can't help you out. I am at a total loss to even explain what's supposed to be going on today. I'm not even sure Joy's dialog can be parsed.

Trainwreck

In today's Dinette Set art imitates life as a car wreck is a pretty apt metaphor for this absolute nonsense commentary about voyeurism and the attempt to draw the aftermath of said accident.

O Slole Oddness

In today's Dinette Set, class warfare, as always when Mr. Sheldrake joins the fun, is simmering just below the surface. Today is no exception with the elite breaking the backs of the workers as they feast off the sweat of their lower-class brothers.

And yet, my attention is drawn inexorably, not to the zombies, but to the speaker-stand papered with a map showing Italy and Crustwood. Italy, however, appears to be situated on some sort of mirror image of North America, because Europe is definitely not shaped like that.

The message is clear...for the blue-collar worker America rules and Europe can go to hell!

Zombie Flares

Today's Dinette Set is almost devoid of marginalia, settling for just 2 fake tabloid titles and some standard commentary regarding Burl's bowels.

The background, usually a canvas against which is set all manner of marginalia, is today dominated by the meeting of a white white semi-circle and the encroaching darkness. The heads of two white zombies jut into the darkness.

Shall we read into this that the white zombies are winning the battle? I think we shall.

Debutante Ball

It would be hard to measure my apathy toward today's Dinette Set. Everything in it is such an enormous stretch from reality that the whole thing amounts to nothing. Burl's final remark is especially infuriating. Despite being a play off the tortured weather references regarding Verl's dress, it makes absolutely no sense whatever.

And yet, I'm absolutely in love with the "Press" photographer who appears to be holding the camera's viewfinder up to his mouth.

Double points to any commenter who can actually read Burl or Joy's name tag.

Technophobia

In today's Dinette Set, no one could possibly pay attention to the substance of the panel while that computer logo cries for attention.

It appears to be some sort of monstrous pumpkin that is feasting on crumbs from itself or the entrails of its latest victim. In either case, such a logo could only signify some sort of slamming gaming rig.

Which means Burl and Joy must be pretending to be computer idiots in order to get Patty out of the house so they can join their guild for raid in Molten Core.

Gluttony

In today's Dinette Set there are too many numbers flying around and I am much too tired to even attempt to parse this text and figure out what's going on.

I suspect it has something to do with how fat they are and how much they eat.

None of which explains why the waiter is quavering with fear as he approaches a very angry-looking patron, which is the most interesting thing going on in the panel.

Zombie Wars will be Televised

In today's Dinette Set, the zombie hordes attend a basketball game, I think.

Actually, it's quite hard to tell what sport those shirts are supposed to indicate. Maybe bowling? Bocce? Four-square? Oh, hell, let's just say the zombies are lining up to watch a random indeterminate ball-bouncing game.

At any rate, what worries me most is how, standing at that crazy angle, Crustwood Dad expects to prevent himself from falling over backward. Once he falls over and cracks his head open on the bleacher, the zombies will make short work of him, that's for sure.

Sire Arthur rolls over in his grave

In today's Dinette Set, it's unclear whether the Penny's are attempting to shoplift or whether random supermarket employee is over-reacting in a massive way. Not that I really much care, since neither is all that funny.

And my attention is still drawn irresistibly to the white zombies.

Double Your...Something

Prior to today, I'd never have believed you if you told me that a Dinette Set entirely related to the intricacies of chewing gum would defy odds and, owing to the Dinette Set's odd provincialism, be utterly hilarious.

And I would have been right.

The Elephant in the Room

It's interesting that the artist of The Dinette Set seems to believe that corporations choose their regional Vice Presidents in the same manner that a Community Theatre finds a male lead for Oklahoma.

The only difference being that the corporation can afford a humongous sign to announce something which everyone in the room presumably already knows--namely, why they are there--and another large sign to indicate the location of the "judges."

Oh, and the phrase Burl is looking for is not "Dummies say what."

You Say Tomato...

Concentrate all your focus on the content of today's Dinette Set, despite the fact that it is utterly forgettable (ha, ha, ha...home grown vegetables are free and better than store bought!).

Otherwise you'll be forced to look at the marginalia which features deep dives into sophomoric sexual humor (random lady's T-shirt) and sophomoric scatological humor (Burl's choice of breakfast cereal).

The Horse Race

So, candidates pander and voters are beauty-obsessed idiots. Yeah, that really needed saying.

But what's truly odd is that The Dinette Set, which is almost never topical or political because it wallows in the superficial and parochial, chooses to be topical and political on September 11...but not about September 11.

Head On

I am unaware of what HeadOn is, but unless it's slogan is "Yes" this panel makes no sense at all.

Not to mention the fact that "in unison" means something altogether different when it is audible voices and when it is a drawing of 5 people sharing a single word balloon.

And, so, I feel like Timmy, who is clearly wondering what the hell he is doing with these people and how he can make them all go away.

The Chippendale in the Trash

Today's Dinette Set is a freak show of symmetry.

• Burl and Jerry stand in virtually the identical position, with their left hand, as almost always, tucked suspiciously into a front pants pocket.
• Joy and Verla stand in mirrored symmetry, and both seem to be suffering from forearm pseudopodia, although the swelling in Joy's extremity seems to have gone down a bit.

But what really makes this panel special is the fact that the artist took such care to stencil "Penny" on the garbage can visible through the fence.

As if, without that detail, the reader would be unable to understand the panel because they would not realize they were standing in the Penny's yard or because they would not understand that it is garbage day on both sides of the street.

Revolving Credit

Today's Dinette Set was a lot funnier when Married With Children did the same thing with the family dog in 1988.

Of more pressing concern, however, is that Joy's forearm pseudopodia, first diagnosed by E-R-O-X, appears to be getting worse.

A Fine Example

Millenia from now, if someone wanted to demonstrate to our Galactic Overlords what the 21st Century's Dinette Set was all about, I think this panel would fit the bill nicely.

It begins with several lines of the most pedestrian conversation imaginable and ends with a vaguely inappropriate remark from Burl. A remark so parochial as to be virtually indistinguishable from continuation of the same boring conversation.

The key characteristic, of course, is that Burl's remark should be only vaguely inappropriate, since the panel lacks the courage necessary to say something wildly inappropriate that might actually be, you know...funny.

Motor Mouths

In todays Dinette Set, all of the players run off at the mouth and the reader still has no clue what's going on.

• When you check into a hotel or motel, you usually park by reception until you are assigned a room...are they saying they sleep in reception?
• Are they assigned a room close to the exit because the motor inn is so happy to see them leave?
• Just how often do these folks visit Salinas?
• And why do they visit Salinas?
• Why mention Salinas so specifically at all? Especially when you mean Salinas, KS and not Salinas, CA.

I think this one gets filed under the general rubric of "Dinette Set panels it is impossible to understand unless you are the artist or share the artist's exact parochial knowledge base."

Putting the Cracker in Cracker Barrel

In today's Dinette Set, Burl admits to larceny so petty it's hard to believe someone felt the need to publish it in comic form.

The largest crime on the page, of course, is the illustration of a spoon in Marlene's hand which is hardly believable as a spoon.